Monthly Archives: October 2016

“So why are you still single?”

I hear that question on a consistent basis. As a “woman of a certain age”, the question has a negative connotation and people often blurt it out without thinking.  The question implies that there is something wrong with me because I’m in my mid-thirties and single.  Perhaps people use the question as a space filler. Perhaps the question is the result of tired and moldy heteronormative and patriarchal tradition that by my age I should be married with children. Perhaps people are just nosy.  Perhaps it’s a compliment because I’m just so fabulous, it’s hard to fathom that I’d be single.  Whatever the reason for the question, it’s annoying, antiquated, and offensive.

And, frankly, the answer is complicated. Or, maybe, the answer is very simple. The answer is: “life happens”. That would seem simple enough but what does that mean exactly? I started thinking about why I was single and made a list.

So…why am I (at almost 35 – ALMOST 35!) still single?

Continue reading