Monthly Archives: June 2016

Guyatus: Over

*Jay-Z voice *

Allow me to reintroduce myself.

I know what you’re thinking. Damn, girl, where have you been? It’s been over six months. Yeah, girl, I know. I have a calendar. Okay let me not be snarky. But, seriously, I haven’t been doing much. I’ve been working, working out, drinking copious amounts of wine and I finally watched all of Game of Thrones (I was able to watch the current season in real time. This by far is one of my greatest achievements).

Essentially I’ve been on “Guy-atus” for nearly ten months. Ugh, I could have had a baby by now, you guys. Just kidding. I’m not responsible enough to be anyone’s mother. Let me be as clear as possible: this was not the plan. I never thought I’d go ten months without any dates. (OK. OK. I went on one date and I keep forgetting it happened. Relax. The feeling was definitely mutual.)

Dating in the 21st century is brutal. And dating as a 6’2” highly educated, super pretty (hey!), black lawyer is even harder (Wait. Was that a humblebrag?). As I tipsily announced in some random ultra lounge in Washington, D.C.: “I’m a unicorn and life as a unicorn is hard.” (I need to get that on a shirt ASAP).


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