Throughout my life, I’ve had the normal female body issues. Nothing too obsessive. I’ve lamented my thighs. I’ve counted calories. I complained about empire dresses not fitting my body type. Being 6’2”, I’ve often whined about the lack of pants options. But, I’ve never particularly obsessed or even been acutely aware of my body as a black female. Personally, I find this an amazing feat since I went to college in Los Angeles and was surrounded on campus and in the city by petite, skinny, and pretty blondes every day. However, I never felt intimidated. Admittedly, I felt awkward when I first arrived on campus but mostly due to a bad wardrobe and the unruly un-arched eyebrows. Once I waxed my eyebrows and found the mall, I wandered through the streets of the City of Angels with confidence and happiness.
I’ve dated guys outside my race before and never thought much about how they perceived my Black body. I had never feared that they were exoticizing my body or our relationship. I’ve realized that all my past non-black boyfriends came from middle class families and I had knowledge that they had either dated or at least hooked up with women outside their race before. For these guys I wasn’t a test case. I wasn’t a line item on a bucket list. I was simply a normal human girl who they wanted to date. I was never self-conscious about my body as a black female until I dated my last boyfriend. Continue reading