This week marks a very special milestone. This week two years ago I became a single lady and I’ve stayed single since. It’s my longest single stint in my adult life. Beyond being single, I’ve been through a lot professionally and personally in the past two years. I moved to Washington, D.C. and by early 2014 I was back in Chicago. I arrived back in Chicago with no job, no place to live and no idea what would happen next. This time last year I was single, jobless and living on my friend’s couch. It was the ultimate piece of humble pie for a girl who had never had a problem finding a boyfriend, had a well-paying job, and had previously been living in an impossibly expensive apartment in Adams Morgan (and before that a huge apartment in a Chicago highrise and before that owned her own condo in Indianapolis – so, yeah, HUGE BIG HEAPING SLICE OF HUMBLE DAMN PIE). So two years down, what have I learned? Continue reading
Category Archives: The Real World
#SorryNotSorry aka Mercury Is In Retrograde
Mercury is in retrograde. And it’s been a wacky past few weeks. I’m not religious. I don’t read my horoscope. But, based on the last few weeks, I’m beginning to think there might be something to this chaotic time of year. The planet that rules our communication is out of wack and we all lose our minds. We start speaking our truths at inopportune times or acting in ways that are a little out of character. While some crazy things have happened, I have had some introspective moments as well. Jamie Foxx says to “Blame it on the Alcohol”. I say blame this post on Mercury: Continue reading
The Comeback
I was sharing a bottle (or two) of wine with a close friend recently. She talked a little bit about some advice that someone had given her about divorce. She explained that “When you finally feel that you’re okay and ready to date, give it another six months to a year and then you’ll actually be ready.” The advice resonated with me. I did not go through a divorce. And I won’t purport to understand what divorce feels like. And I won’t flippantly compare divorce to my past two years but I will simply say that this advice succinctly and completely describes how I’ve felt.
The Happy List
I woke up Tuesday morning to two rejection emails for jobs I had applied for less than twelve hours earlier. It seems impossible that anyone had been able to review my resume and application that quickly. But, regardless of that implausibility, someone had determined that my services would not be needed at those two companies. That afternoon I viewed two rooms in two different apartments. I’m hoping to find a furnished sublet for the summer. I checked out both places and said I was extremely interested and was told “Great. All you have to do next is meet the roommates”. Hours later I received emails saying both rooms were rented and wishing me “the best of luck on my search.” I determined that responding with an email simply stating “DIAF” probably was inappropriate and deleted both emails. Continue reading
Did You Learn Anything?
As part of Tiger Woods’ comeback from his sex scandal, Nike came out with this bizarre commercial comprised only of a close up of Woods and featured a posthumous (and creepy) voice over monologue from his father ending with the poignant question: “Did You Learn Anything?” I’m not sure whether Tiger learned anything. I know I certainly did. Importantly, DO NOT hook up with waitresses at Perkins. They’ll snitch on you to TMZ or US Weekly. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, that question also pops into my head after any difficult personal situation. Yes, I even hear it in Earl Woods’ voice. (Thanks a lot Nike!)
#ProfessionalHotMess
Over the past two weeks I’ve been binge watching Ally McBeal on Netflix. Before you groan and roll your eyes, in my defense, I’d never watched a single episode of the show before. I had seen a few minutes here and there when I was in high school and I never understood the show. So a couple weeks ago, fueled by rosé and Thai food, I started the series and watched multiple episodes in a row. I told one of my best friends that this show was right up my alley (no pun intended). I explained that I’m a fan of any show centered around a professional woman who is a “hot mess”. I completely identified with it.
Welp
Anyone who has read one entry of this little blog could discern that it’s been an interesting past year and a half for me. I’ve encountered some personal and professional challenges and, at the end of the day, I’ve been left to figure out what to do with myself. I’m in the middle of a “come to Jesus” moment. The past few months have been filled with a large amount of soul searching. My brain has been an exhausting and tiring place to hang out. After much consideration, I’ve decided to move back to Chicago. I put in my 30 day notice at my apartment and will be reserving my movers in the next few days. It’s official. I’m out. I’m leaving.
So Who The Heck Are You?
I’ll warn you right now: This post is a going to be verbal vomit. Just like a Ramones song, it’s going to be rough, one take, with little editing. Continue reading
Having A Marnie Moment
For the most part everything has happened easily. Yes, I’m 6’2”. Yes, I ended up in private school with a bunch of people I didn’t really know and barely had any close friends in high school. But that being said, the last harrowing chapter of my life ended in 2000. Sure, there have been some minor set-backs (see below if you’re curious). But for the most part my adult life had been smooth sailing. I’d worked my butt off in school and all other areas of my life. In return for my hard work I was rewarded with: an athletic scholarship to USC, two back-to-back well-paying prestigious law firm jobs, the opportunity to live in cities all over the country, fun and diverse friendships, two back-to-back stable, healthy and loving multi-year relationships with two very different men. It was a good story. It was a stable story. It was a safe story. My current reality, in early 2014 and staring my 32nd birthday in the face, is nowhere near good, stable or safe.
The Blame Game
In an article in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal, James Taranto explored what he calls a “balanced look at college sex offenses”. Without outlining the entire article, the main point of Taranto’s op-ed is that women should be held equally accountable for sexual assaults involving intoxication. The consistent undertone of this article is the fear of false accusations and the ruining of young men’s lives. Taranto’s main thesis is that if a man and woman are both intoxicated and the man sexually assaults the woman that they are both, in fact, equally at fault. Taranto explained that:
“If two drunk drivers are in a collision, one doesn’t determine fault on the basis of demographic details such as each driver’s sex. But when two drunken college students “collide,” the male one is almost always presumed to be at fault.”
Last time I checked women do not possess the biological parts to collide into a man but that’s beside the point. Shitty analogy aside, Taranto’s main point is clear.
74 Inches of Pure Lady 